Pig Doctoring Extraordinary!

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Tain attempts a 'Hammer House of Horror' version of the Disney Film 'Babe'.

On a day lately a thriving little porker, belonging to a well-known resident in King Street, Tain, took suddenly and alarmingly ill, and the cause of the illness and the nature of it were like a profound mystery.

There is located in the town a well-known son of Vulcan who has, among certain classes, the reputation of being all-powerful in curing both bipeds and quadrupeds of almost all the ills that flesh is heir to. In all emergencies his great, and to his mind never-failing remedy is ‘bleeding.’ His constant companion is an old rusty lance, and on being called in to see human beings or animals of the lower type, he examines the patient, looks grave and exceedingly wise like for a little, and then pronounces as his verdict, (be the nature of the trouble whatever it may, even though suffering from a dearth of all the important fluid,) that the only remedy is bleeding.

In its hour of need, he was called upon to see the young porker, and after a short examination, bleeding was pronounced as being the only cure; that the seat of the trouble was altogether in its head, consequently that the bloodletting should take place from somewhere as near as possible to that important part. How could this be accomplished inquired the owner?

“Why", replied the dusky physician, “by cropping of the points of its ears of course.”

No sooner said than done, poor porky was seized and finally held, while nearly half of each ear was deftly cut off by the cruel operator, and then it was allowed to run at large, two streams of blood running down each side of its head. It need scarcely be said that instead of getting better it gradually got worse. Fortunately, a gentleman having some experience of cases of the kind, heard of porky's trouble and got the owner thereof to administer some simple medicine, and with the exception of the poor mutilated ears, 9marks that it will carry with it to its grave, or rather to the place where all pigs go), it was shortly after as well as ever.

But it is scarcely that such gross ignorance and cruelty, as is shown in this case, could take place in this boasted age of enlightenment. Surely the attention of some of the officials in connection with the Act anent “Prevention of Cruelty to Animals" should be directed to this case, as the proof is in every way conclusive.